Pain
by sweetpants
Summary: A very different, more in depth look at House's POV in 'Finding Judas' huddy


**Pain**

_Please allow me to introduce myself  
I'm a man of wealth and taste_

_Pleased to meet you  
Hope you guess my name_

He is in pain. Every single cell in his body is piercing in agony. The empty hole where there was once a thigh muscle is screaming at him. The right shoulder that maneuvers his cane is throbbing, and his back aches. His body has given up on him. He does not feel hunger, nor does he thirst. All he craves is Vicodin. This one thing he cannot have is the one thing he longs so desperately for.

His mind is paralyzed. The pain blurs his vision and mutes all sounds. The brilliant doctor that is looked upon as a genius is incapable of thinking clearly. Reality is becoming completely distorted as he watches the world around him spin. Words have become scarce, and sentences are nearly impossible to form. Even his precious medical puzzles aren't enough of a distraction. His thoughts are captivated by the excruciating pain stemming from within his leg, throughout his bones, veins, and mind.

He is innocent_. _A victim of a society against all those who speak the truth. He resents the law that deprives him of a pain free life. He is withholding his own principles, and will not lower himself beneath a man of hypocritical authority. He has done nothing wrong. He refuses to be at fault for the unfortunate events that continue to pile up in the lives of those around him. They choose to surrender to the pressure. They choose to take the easy way out before this battle erupts into a war. He chooses to fight.

It is their fault. They are all cowards; unwilling to stand by their leader in this fight against evil. They hear the deceiving roar of a cowardly lion, and run as fast as they can in the opposite direction. There is no excuse for their actions. All of them claim to have done 'the right thing', but he knows they are wrong. One by one he watches them fall before the trickery of a devil disguised as a detective. They forfeit their pride and honor to him. Eventually, he fears, one of them will kiss his cheek. There is a Judas amongst them.

He needs to regain power. Once king of a glass castle; now a deteriorating junkie. Order has to be restored. He must retrieve control, and inflict pain on the first innocent being that crosses his path. He cannot be alone in his pain. Someone else has to suffer as does he. He can watch their world crumble before him, and feed off of their misery. Maybe then his world will seem less troubled.

She is an angel. The only one remaining untouched, untainted by evil. Protecting him from himself and his enemy. A delicate flower with most gentle characteristics as she attempts to save the world around her. She believes people are good, yet trusts no one. She cannot lie, yet she will never betray him. He owes her everything, but seems to give her nothing. She is wounded. Her blood, her weakness, alerts his emotions. She is his victim.

"It's a good thing you failed to become a mom 'cause you suck at it!"

All hope is destroyed. Her belief that the world is not a rotten place is diminished. The man she has unconditional, undying faith in has just spat in her face. Her heart is being torn from her chest with each passing moment. His once lively, glowing, blue eyes are now dead and dull. A mere look of disgust is splattered on his face as she stares up at him . He is the devil, and she is kneeling before him like a servant to his throne.

He watches it all. The victory he predicted would bring him fulfillment has done nothing but fuel his self-loathing. The hurt in her eyes and the trembling of her body has only crushed him further, rather than heal some of the pain. She is broken before him, yet he is not satisfied. Her world is crashing, while his remains as pitiful as before. She is speechless, and struggles to take her next breath. This sight burns his eyes. Like the coward he has always truly been, he leaves, allowing her to lick her own wounds and mend her own heart.

God, what has he done?

_Just call me Lucifer  
Cause I'm in need of some restraint_

_So if you meet me  
Have some courtesy  
Have some sympathy, and some taste_

_Use all your well-learned politesse  
Or Ill lay your soul to waste_

* * *

_Song: "Sympathy For The Devil" by The Rolling Stones_


End file.
